**Sigh**

I've come to the realization that I don't want a relationship anymore. I don't have the energy, the patience, or the desire to meet someone new ... get to know them ... let them get to me ... and all that other preliminary 'let's get to know each other' bullshit. I don't want to do that. I guess my past experiences have done a number on me ... and I'm not REALLY open to developing anything with anyone anymore. If a relationship happens to me, it will be by God's doing and not by my own. Right now ... I'm chillin' ... I'm tired of focusing on the relationship I don't have or what I thought me and 'Neo' had ... I'm just tired of the bullshit. I'm not fed up with love ... I'm just taking a pause in my life and enjoying the shit I have ... good friends, a decent job and all that other stuff. Don't get it twisted ... I'm still gonna date ... but I'm letting dudes know up front ... don't be expecting anything from this date ... I don't want a relationship and I'm not in the business of allowing people to know 'me' right now. Who knows what will happen? I'm tired of worrying about the possibility. I'm living for today.