Who The Hell ...

said honesty was the best policy? WHO!! WHOEVER made this stupid statement needs to be shot in the damn head ... REPEATEDLY!

Why can't I just lie? It's so much more easier if I'M the one going crazy as opposed to hurting someone else by being HONEST. That is the worst feeling in the world ... when you are being honest, you know it's right ... but you also know you are hurting someone else's feelings.

Well, I am experiencing that right now. Less than 24 hours ago, I disclosed to Mr. Energetic that I could NOT give him what he wants ... time, attention, and a relationship. I was straight up. I have school going on ... I have buying a house going on ... I have so much going on in my life right now that I can't be hindered by a relationship. Especially one I don't really want. You see, Mr. Energetic started clinging to me for EVERYTHING ... even his outside entertainment ... which was cute at first ... but after a while I start losing focus on MY life and need to take time for me ... he didn't understand that. He couldn't comprehend how one day I could want a relationship and then another day say I can't do it. But I CAN'T. I can't have someone up under me so much ... dependent on me for SO many things. I'm not ready to be a mommy just yet.

And in all honesty, I'm not really ready to settle down. Yeah, I complain about NOT having a man but I really don't want a serious relationship right now. I just want to finish grad school and continue building my career. I don't want to slow down ... I don't want to be hindered by someone who isn't on the same path as me ... doesn't have the same drive and goals as me ... and requires too much of my time ... time I HAD for myself.

If honesty is indeed the best policy then that means I'm following the appropriate guidelines. I can't say that it doesn't hurt when I hurt others. But I would be hurting myself in the long run if I wasn't being honest with me.